Seasons

I love Autumn. Or at least I think I do. My friends who grew up places other than CA tell me I have no idea what Autumn really is, but I like to think I do. I would like to live on the east coast, just for Autumn and then come back to CA before winter hits. Good plan, no? Now I just need to be rich enough to afford an "Autumn house." It's like a summer house, but...well you get the idea.

When I was in Jr High my math class did a survey about seasons and then had to chart the results, average, median, etc. The questions was, "What is your favorite season?" I choose Autumn. I was the only one who choose Autumn. I felt really dumb. I also felt really dumb when I said my favorite food was apples. What?? I really liked apples. Jr. High is not a good time to be the only one liking something. It makes you weird. So, I changed my answer. "Autumn? I didn't say I liked Autumn. Who likes that? I like Spring. Like. Everyone. Else." 

My 8th grade self was such a sell out. =) I wish I could go back and tell her that she is really cool for liking Autumn. That only really cool people like Autumn for really cool reasons. Cool reasons like beautiful leaves, and back-to-school shopping. New clothes, new shoes, crisp undefiled notebooks and new pencils. I always thought my new school supplies would instantly make me smarter and more organized. I still think that. I just bought two new notebooks today for my lesson plans because the other ones I choose just weren't cutting it. I can't wait to write in them.

More cool reasons to like Autumn: Apple EVERYTHING. Apples, homemade applesauce, apple cider, apple crisp, caramel (goes well with apples). Also, the current trend of skinny jeans with tall brown boots and a wrap sweater. It is my goal to buy skinny jeans in a size 6 and wear them with tall brown boots and a wrap sweater BEFORE the cold weather ends this year. I guess I better cross everything off the above apple list except apples and applesauce.

I still like apples.

Miss C likes apples too, but not sliced. If I suggest an apple as a snack she says, "OK, but I want it big." That means, "Don't slice my apple." So, I don't.

Hurry CA Autumn! I am ready for you!

Cheers,
Jen

Music I Like...Music You Like...

I haven't posted much about music yet, but you should know that I am a S.N.O.B. about it. Especially when it comes to children's music. We didn't own any children's music until Miss C was a year old, and then not any more till she was two and a half. We had a hard time finding any that wasn't, well, really annoying. (In case you are curious, that music we listened to for two years was the Medeski, Martin, and Wood Children's Album. Love it.) So, if we are listening to children's music, rest assured it is the good stuff! I wanted to post today to tell you about some GOOD music for a GOOD cause. Ryan Marshall over at the Panic Room has been working non-stop to put an album together to raise money for the research of Smith Magenis Syndrome. The album ROCKS.
  It is called Do Fun Stuff and you should download it from i tunes and dance around your living room to it right now.

Compassion in Parenting

"Just be more patient with her."

This is what I tell myself on a daily basis when thinking about Miss C, my 3 year old daughter. "I just need to be more patient. She's only 3. She is supposed to test limits and assert her independence. These are things I want her to do. I don't want her to grow up afraid to do anything because it might be wrong, like I was."

But patience can only get you so far. Patience runs out quickly when the tired or the hungry creeps in. I think what I really need is compassion.

I began to think about this after my second daughter, Miss B, was born. We feel compassion for babies because they are helpless. When they cry, we meet the need, whatever it is. We are designed to respond to a baby's cry. Toddlers are a different story. At some point, they start using that whining and crying to manipulate and our job as parents gets harder because we have to start disciplining. Crying and whining doesn't fly anymore when you can talk (especially when you can talk as well as Miss C can). We have been working with her for a long time on using a "pleasant voice," when she wants something. Whining doesn't get you what you want. This is a difficult concept to learn. Especially when your baby sister gets everything *she* wants when she cries.

I need compassion for Miss C. Compassion doesn't excuse bad behavior or negate the need for discipline, but it does allow me to stop seeing her as a little adult. My long-winded explanations or short-tempered responses are not going to help her. She is only 3.

Compassion means dying to myself a little more.

This is hard for me. I am selfish. There is no room for selfishness in parenting. God has given me children to raise to become compassionate people who love him and love others. He is teaching me compassion through my children.

It is hard, but anything that is hard will be more rewarding in the end.

"Lord, fill me with compassion for my children," I now pray on a daily basis. 

I'm Sorry I Asked

People like to ask, "So...what's it like having two kids?" Such a broad question! I like answering broad questions with specific stories. It's much more fun. Right now, this is the story I use to answer that question.

After the Miss B's early morning feeding I can only do four things. There are definitely more than four things that need to be done, but I can only do four of them. Here is the list of things I want to do every morning.

1. Sleep In (meaning go back to bed for an hour till Miss C wakes up)
2. Shower
3. Blow dry hair
4. Make/eat breakfast for myself
5. Make Coffee
6. Drink Coffee


Today I was able to complete #1, #2, #4, and #6. Yes, I drank coffee without making it. Thank you Starbucks Via. Most of the time I accomplish #5 without getting to #6 because I decide that #3 is more important that day.

This is all because of the list of things that I have to do every morning in no particular order.
1. Feed Miss B (Which takes an hour because mama is her happy place. *melt*)
2. Make breakfast for Miss C
3. Get a snack for Miss C 5 minutes after she has eaten breakfast (she eats lots in the morning and then very little the rest of the day)
4. Comfort Miss C because mysockisonwrongandmyhairisinmyfacenoooooidon'twantaponytail.
5. Convince Miss C to go potty like a big girl.
6. Convince Miss C to let me change her pull up because she didn't go potty like a big girl.
7. Put Miss B down for her morning nap.
8. Get Miss C dressed so that we can A. Run an errand or B. Go to the park. 

And that is what it is like to have two kids.

A more responsible person than I is reading this right now and thinking, "If she stopped sleeping in, she could probably accomplish all of the other things she wants to do. Early to bed, early to rise as they say."

If you are reading this and thinking that, please save your comment until after I have made my coffee without drinking it. I just can't handle it till then.

Cheers (with a cup of cold coffee),
Jen

Why Moms Wear High Waisted Jeans

Dear Trader Joe's,
   I love you for many reasons. I love that your prices on milk and eggs are lower than any other store around. I love that I can get out with three bags of groceries for under $80 most weeks. Your whole wheat pastas taste amazing, and your selection of organic produce astounds me. Also this: I. LOVE. CHEESE. You do too. I can tell because of there are, like, 10 different kinds of sharp white cheddar alone. But lately I have been increasingly frustrated by our relationship. This is because all the stuff I want is on the bottom shelf.

   You see, I just had my second child and I am currently somewhere in between maternity jeans and regular jeans. I have settled on a pair of "natural waist" long and leans from the Gap, but they don't fit as well as I would like. Also, I am carrying this new baby in a sling, so I cannot bend over. Instead, in order to reach the cinnamon apple sauce, I must squat and flash the whole store my white, white rear. Same with the organic juice boxes, the red wine I like, and the organic tomato basil pasta sauce. By the time I get to the check-out lane everyone in the store knows me better than they ought to.
 
  The way I see it, I have two choices. I can either *gulp* buy a pair of high waisted, "mom jeans," or I can shop at a different store. You see, at other stores there is more selection, so I have my pick of items on the middle or upper shelves. I don't want to do it...but shopping somewhere else is more likely to win out. Unless of course you want to put all the stuff I want on higher shelves...

               Cheers,
                   Jen

A Pink Birthday

Miss C turned 3 at the end of May. Looking back, this past year has been HARD. The. Entire. Year. Almost every day has been about being consistent with discipline and not giving in to tantrums. Being pregnant for 9 months of it, and taking care of a newborn for the other 3 months didn't help. Poor Miss C. An entire year with an exhausted, crazy hormonal, growing larger-by-the-day mama must have been really hard. She wanted a pink birthday, so I was determined to give her just that and really make the day about her.

I don't do birthday parties every year. We did a big party for her first birthday, Which was great, but not every year. I will do birthday parties in the future. Maybe for the other big milestone birthdays. Anyway, in liu of a party we always do dinner with the family: Grandmas and Grandpas and Uncle Erik. Anyone else out there not do birthday parties every year? Any good ideas for how often to have one and how many kids to invite, etc?

I found as much pink as I possibly could. Pink plates and napkins, a pink tablecloth, pink flowers, a pink balloon, Rose Wine (for the adults) and of course, a pink cake!

I thought that red and pink would look neat-o together, so I made a red velvet cake with pink fluffy vanilla buttercream frosting. This is my go-to frosting. It is easy to make, yummy, and easy to decorate with. I modify the recipe a bit and only put in 4 cups of confectioner's sugar. It is way too sweet with all 6 cups. It was so yummy! Miss C ate all of her piece very carefully as if she didn't want to waste a single crumb. So sweet!
 
Despite this year being so hard, I am always thankful for my talkative, silly, busy, sweet Miss C! Happy third birthday, Miss C! Thanks for making me a mama!

Second Babies

In your second pregnancy, you don't follow many of the rules that you did the first time around. For example, not lifting heavy things? That goes out the window. Mostly because you're schlepping a 30 pound toddler around on your hip (or side once your hips disappear again). The good news is that you are probably more relaxed and may not gain as much weight because you don't feel like you need to eat all the time. Or, if you're like me, because you're too sick to keep anything down for the first 3 months. But let's go with the whole self-control thing because that sounds better.

The second time you give birth it may go faster! It also may be easier since you know what to expect. You might feel more relaxed going into things. Or, if you're like me, you'll feel so relaxed that you'll be in denial and go out to eat Indian Food while in active labor all the while saying to your husband, "I don't think this is the real thing, besides this food is really good and I want to finish my dinner." Then end up at the hospital where your baby is born an hour later thanking God that your water didn't break in the restaurant and that you kept your food down (woo hoo!).

After you give birth the second time, you will hopefully feel more present when meeting your baby. And when the nurse asks you if you are hungry, even though you just ate a giant Indian Food meal 2 hours earlier, you will be starving and the Graham Crackers you eat will be the best thing you've ever eaten.

Things really are easier the second time around when caring for your new baby. You will feel confident and at ease because you've done this once already!

Then you come home from the hospital. And you're a rookie all over again because you've never taken care of two children of such different ages before.

Dangit.

Don't worry I'm getting the hang of it. I'm sure you will too! Right all you moms of two? Tell the nice readers that I'm right. Tell me I'm right.

Please?

Cheers,
Jen

First Babies

In your first pregnancy, you want to do everything right, so you are very careful about what you eat and drink. You don't lift heavy things, or breathe in harmful toxins, etc. But you also have never felt any of the things you are feeling before, so you kinda feel sorry for yourself most of the time. That's where the weight gain creeps in. Unless someone tells you that, that weird shaky feeling means you are supposed to sit down and rest, not necessarily stuff your face. No one told me that.

The first time you give birth you may be in shock afterward. It is ok to feel shocked at what just happened. HELLO you just pushed a BABY out that was growing INSIDE your body! An entire PERSON was GROWING inside your body! You may also feel shock at what just happened as in: you just became someone's mother for the rest of your life. I, unfortunately have photographic evidence of that moment, which prompted my mom to worry about me. What? You want to see the picture? Trust me, you don't.

The first time you care for YOUR baby you will wonder what good any of those hours of babysitting as a teenager did for you because holy cow, seriously??!! Did you really babysit newborns all the time when you were 16 and what were those parents thinking because you didn't do any of the stuff you are doing now. In fact you pretty much just sat on the couch and did your homework while the baby slept upstairs. Maybe you changed a diaper once the whole time you were there. Why isn't your baby sleeping like that one did when you were 16??!! And why did you just change three diapers in 5 minutes?!

The moment your first baby is born, your "Mom Ears" also kick into high gear, and EVERY LITTLE NOISE that precious bundle makes will wake you up. Any sweet little grunt, or growl, or snuffle will wake you. You will probably feed your baby more times during the night than you actually need to until you realize that he/she is not waking up, just making noise.

With the first babies, the learning curve is as steep as it gets, even if you have an easy baby. The good news is that first babies prepare you for, well, second babies. And that is a whole other post. So all you first-time moms out there: You're doing great. You're becoming an expert on your baby. Keep up the good work!

Cheers,
Jen

Logic In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning...

Oh good. She woke up at 4am to eat. That way I can get a few more hours of sleep. Because if she woke up at 6am, even though I would have slept consecutively 2 more hours than usual, I wouldn't be able to go back to bed, so 4am is better. Right?

Cheers,
Jen

Songs I can't listen to without a tissue...

On Mother's Day we went up to the city to see my husband's cousin in recital. She is a classicaly trained singer and we hadn't heard her perform in almost 2 years, so it was a real treat. She sang a song that I had all but forgotten about and I can't get it out of my head now. It is called I Won't Mind by Blumenkrantz, Kessler, & Saines. It is sung from the perspective of Auntie Lizzie, who longs for a child of her own. It gets me every time from the very beginning. "I won't mind sitting by your cradle, singing to you softly, far into the night. I won't mind playing peek-a-boo for hours to see that look of wonder. Wonder and delight." It was a poingent reminder on Mother's Day of how often I don't appreciate my babies. Miss C is almost three and Miss B is three months old. The time is passing so quickly and yet, more often than not, I find myself counting the minutes till bedtime instead of relishing being able to sing to, read to, and play with my girls. I am going to make a point of remembering that this time spent in Babyland is over too quickly and I will miss it.
Time to go read one more story...

Cheers,
Jen

Things I Never Thought I'd Say...

"There are no types of boogers. A booger is a booger."

This was in response to the question posed by Miss C, my almost-3-year-old daughter, "What type of booger is this?"

Cheers,
Jen

A New Decade

I just turned 30.

I didn't have the list of "30 by 30," that I am seeing many people do, and there was no way I was going to "drop a dress size" by 30 (being only 2 months postpartum). So...I had a party! It was a bit of a challenge to come up with the right kind of party. When my husband asked me what kind of party I wanted I told him NO surprise parties. I just had a baby and I want to look good, so I need some warning! (So I'm a little vain. No judging.) I envisioned an elegant cocktail party with champagne and fancy hors d'oeuvres. I pictured everyone getting dressed up and enjoying the music and the company. I pictured 10 toddlers and 5 babies screaming and crying. I pictured no one coming because they didn't want to get a babysitter.

Luckily, the Best-Mother-In-Law-In-The-World (she really is, don't be jealous) came up with the perfect idea: a Vin d'honneur. It translates to "Wine of Honor." It is basically an intimate cocktail party that can be as fancy or casual as you want. We went somewhere in between and told everyone kids were welcome, but sent out fancy invites so everyone would know it would be a nice party. It was wonderful. We had Champagne (my favorite), sparkling juices, all kinds of hors d'oeuvres, and miniature desserts. It was a beautiful day and all the kids had fun playing outside with bubbles.

Things change so much when you have kids. You tell yourself that you won't be "that mom." You know, the one who loses herself so completely in her kids that she can't talk about anything else or do anything that doesn't involve them. Everything is so "kid friendly" that you end up only eating out at McDonald's, or worse; MCDONALD'S.
But the reality is that some "kid friendly" is a good thing. I like making things nice for my kids, but I also like introducing my kids to nice things the adult world. This party blended those two worlds. I'm thankful for such a grand entrance into my 30's!

Cheers!
Jen

Out of My Mind

I started writing this blog in my head in June of 2008 when I was at my cousin's wedding. It was a gorgeous, elegant garden wedding in Sonoma. I was feeling great because I found a dress I loved that was flattering. A small miracle considering I had not lost ANY weight from my pregnancy, which had been over for A YEAR. Getting in the spirit of things, I took a glass of champagne. In my other hand was my daughter's sippy cup full of water. I was enjoying the champagne when my husband saw me and wanted to take a picture. And so I had to do *the thing*. You know, *the thing* that everyone does when holding a glass of something while having their picture taken? You kind of "toast" the person taking the picture. As I went to do that I realized that I must toast with both the champagne and the sippy cup. Hence, this cheesy picture.

Cheesy.
But then I thought, this picture completely represents my life right now! Not just my life, but the lives of so many moms who are trying to hang onto themselves while giving everything to their children. Ever since my first daughter was born, I've been struggling with how to maintain some beauty and elegance among the chaos and messiness that motherhood brings. Now that I have two girls I am starting to realize that the beautiful and the messy are often the same thing. I will try to chronicle those moments here.

Cheers!