Second Babies

In your second pregnancy, you don't follow many of the rules that you did the first time around. For example, not lifting heavy things? That goes out the window. Mostly because you're schlepping a 30 pound toddler around on your hip (or side once your hips disappear again). The good news is that you are probably more relaxed and may not gain as much weight because you don't feel like you need to eat all the time. Or, if you're like me, because you're too sick to keep anything down for the first 3 months. But let's go with the whole self-control thing because that sounds better.

The second time you give birth it may go faster! It also may be easier since you know what to expect. You might feel more relaxed going into things. Or, if you're like me, you'll feel so relaxed that you'll be in denial and go out to eat Indian Food while in active labor all the while saying to your husband, "I don't think this is the real thing, besides this food is really good and I want to finish my dinner." Then end up at the hospital where your baby is born an hour later thanking God that your water didn't break in the restaurant and that you kept your food down (woo hoo!).

After you give birth the second time, you will hopefully feel more present when meeting your baby. And when the nurse asks you if you are hungry, even though you just ate a giant Indian Food meal 2 hours earlier, you will be starving and the Graham Crackers you eat will be the best thing you've ever eaten.

Things really are easier the second time around when caring for your new baby. You will feel confident and at ease because you've done this once already!

Then you come home from the hospital. And you're a rookie all over again because you've never taken care of two children of such different ages before.

Dangit.

Don't worry I'm getting the hang of it. I'm sure you will too! Right all you moms of two? Tell the nice readers that I'm right. Tell me I'm right.

Please?

Cheers,
Jen

First Babies

In your first pregnancy, you want to do everything right, so you are very careful about what you eat and drink. You don't lift heavy things, or breathe in harmful toxins, etc. But you also have never felt any of the things you are feeling before, so you kinda feel sorry for yourself most of the time. That's where the weight gain creeps in. Unless someone tells you that, that weird shaky feeling means you are supposed to sit down and rest, not necessarily stuff your face. No one told me that.

The first time you give birth you may be in shock afterward. It is ok to feel shocked at what just happened. HELLO you just pushed a BABY out that was growing INSIDE your body! An entire PERSON was GROWING inside your body! You may also feel shock at what just happened as in: you just became someone's mother for the rest of your life. I, unfortunately have photographic evidence of that moment, which prompted my mom to worry about me. What? You want to see the picture? Trust me, you don't.

The first time you care for YOUR baby you will wonder what good any of those hours of babysitting as a teenager did for you because holy cow, seriously??!! Did you really babysit newborns all the time when you were 16 and what were those parents thinking because you didn't do any of the stuff you are doing now. In fact you pretty much just sat on the couch and did your homework while the baby slept upstairs. Maybe you changed a diaper once the whole time you were there. Why isn't your baby sleeping like that one did when you were 16??!! And why did you just change three diapers in 5 minutes?!

The moment your first baby is born, your "Mom Ears" also kick into high gear, and EVERY LITTLE NOISE that precious bundle makes will wake you up. Any sweet little grunt, or growl, or snuffle will wake you. You will probably feed your baby more times during the night than you actually need to until you realize that he/she is not waking up, just making noise.

With the first babies, the learning curve is as steep as it gets, even if you have an easy baby. The good news is that first babies prepare you for, well, second babies. And that is a whole other post. So all you first-time moms out there: You're doing great. You're becoming an expert on your baby. Keep up the good work!

Cheers,
Jen

Logic In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning...

Oh good. She woke up at 4am to eat. That way I can get a few more hours of sleep. Because if she woke up at 6am, even though I would have slept consecutively 2 more hours than usual, I wouldn't be able to go back to bed, so 4am is better. Right?

Cheers,
Jen

Songs I can't listen to without a tissue...

On Mother's Day we went up to the city to see my husband's cousin in recital. She is a classicaly trained singer and we hadn't heard her perform in almost 2 years, so it was a real treat. She sang a song that I had all but forgotten about and I can't get it out of my head now. It is called I Won't Mind by Blumenkrantz, Kessler, & Saines. It is sung from the perspective of Auntie Lizzie, who longs for a child of her own. It gets me every time from the very beginning. "I won't mind sitting by your cradle, singing to you softly, far into the night. I won't mind playing peek-a-boo for hours to see that look of wonder. Wonder and delight." It was a poingent reminder on Mother's Day of how often I don't appreciate my babies. Miss C is almost three and Miss B is three months old. The time is passing so quickly and yet, more often than not, I find myself counting the minutes till bedtime instead of relishing being able to sing to, read to, and play with my girls. I am going to make a point of remembering that this time spent in Babyland is over too quickly and I will miss it.
Time to go read one more story...

Cheers,
Jen

Things I Never Thought I'd Say...

"There are no types of boogers. A booger is a booger."

This was in response to the question posed by Miss C, my almost-3-year-old daughter, "What type of booger is this?"

Cheers,
Jen

A New Decade

I just turned 30.

I didn't have the list of "30 by 30," that I am seeing many people do, and there was no way I was going to "drop a dress size" by 30 (being only 2 months postpartum). So...I had a party! It was a bit of a challenge to come up with the right kind of party. When my husband asked me what kind of party I wanted I told him NO surprise parties. I just had a baby and I want to look good, so I need some warning! (So I'm a little vain. No judging.) I envisioned an elegant cocktail party with champagne and fancy hors d'oeuvres. I pictured everyone getting dressed up and enjoying the music and the company. I pictured 10 toddlers and 5 babies screaming and crying. I pictured no one coming because they didn't want to get a babysitter.

Luckily, the Best-Mother-In-Law-In-The-World (she really is, don't be jealous) came up with the perfect idea: a Vin d'honneur. It translates to "Wine of Honor." It is basically an intimate cocktail party that can be as fancy or casual as you want. We went somewhere in between and told everyone kids were welcome, but sent out fancy invites so everyone would know it would be a nice party. It was wonderful. We had Champagne (my favorite), sparkling juices, all kinds of hors d'oeuvres, and miniature desserts. It was a beautiful day and all the kids had fun playing outside with bubbles.

Things change so much when you have kids. You tell yourself that you won't be "that mom." You know, the one who loses herself so completely in her kids that she can't talk about anything else or do anything that doesn't involve them. Everything is so "kid friendly" that you end up only eating out at McDonald's, or worse; MCDONALD'S.
But the reality is that some "kid friendly" is a good thing. I like making things nice for my kids, but I also like introducing my kids to nice things the adult world. This party blended those two worlds. I'm thankful for such a grand entrance into my 30's!

Cheers!
Jen